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Coping with an empty chair at the Christmas dinner table

BBC Two women with blonde hair sit in front of some plants. BBC
Katie and Hope Smith set up An Empty Chair

When many families gather around the dining table on Christmas Day, there can be a feeling of loss as they look at the space where a loved one once sat.

Sisters Hope and Katie Smith lost their dad earlier this year and said that space at the table became a negative symbol.

So they set up An Empty Chair in a bid to change the narrative for people navigating life after loss, creating a space where people can talk about their loved ones and openly admit when they are struggling.

"Katie and I luckily had our family and had each other but for so many people they don't have that," Hope said.

"We just thought it would be lovely to have an event that people could attend where you can either sit and listen or share your thoughts.

"Even though it's such a sensitive subject, there's actually a lot of laughter, joy and gratitude at our events and we want people to leave feeling less alone."

Two women smile. Both are wearing scarves. One has blonde hair and one has ginger hair.
Angela and Sarah Creighton came along to An Empty Chair's Christmas-themed event

Mother and daughter Angela and Sarah Creighton came along to An Empty Chair's Christmas-themed event and said it was nice to be in a room with people feeling similar things to them.

"Nanny and granda were old. But grief is still very destabilising," Sarah said.

"It still comes as a shock and you don't know how you're going to feel."

The event was held in Banana Block, in east Belfast, and featured speakers sharing their stories of loss and love.

The events invite people to come along and listen with no pressure to speak.

'Grief and joy go side-by-side'

A man and woman are sitting down and smiling. There are plants and lights in the background.
Susan Gorman, who lost her father four years ago, and her husband Chris

Susan Gorman's dad died four years ago when she was 28 and she said the first Christmas without him was difficult.

"I feel that if I can share any tips, it would be nice to share them with people who've gone through similar things," she said.

"Grief and joy kind of go side-by-side.

"As much as we had a massive day for our wedding I was very aware that my dad wasn't at it too.

"It's about giving yourself permission to still enjoy life after loss."

'The time of year when the chair is empty'

Three women smile. They are sitting down and wearing coats.
Moira Boyd, with daughters Justine and Ailise, says she can't wait for Christmas to be over

Moira Boyd and daughters Ailise and Justine lost their father and husband very suddenly two years ago.

She said going along to the event was something they could do as a family because they were going through grief as a family.

"It's coming up to the time of year when the chair is empty," she said .

"Honestly at the minute I just want Christmas to be over, I wish Christmas didn't exist."