Christmas Day loneliness as 85,000 get set to spend it alone

It will be the seventh Christmas Day in a row that Anne will spend on her own.

The only person she will see all day will be her carer, and that will only be for half an hour in the morning.

Anne, 88, from Merthyr Tydfil, lost her husband in 2016 and is now bed bound due to severe mobility issues.

Her situation is not uncommon - 85,000 people aged 65 or over will eat Christmas dinner alone in Wales this year, according to the charity Age Cymru.

"At Christmas, everything stops, doesn't it. But it's like night and day, it will pass won't it," is how she sees it.

Things used to be different - when her husband was alive, she enjoyed the festive period and describes their house being decorated like Santa's grotto.

"I miss him terribly, especially at Christmas time," Anne said.

"It was around this time of year. Grief will never leave me, I'll never be the same.

"That's loneliness. It's like a deep hole inside you - you can't fill it and well, if you do, it will just go down again."

She still lives in her marital home and despite feeling lonely, does not want to go into a care home.

Anne added: "I'm lucky, I have a warm house, my cat and my new slippers, so I count myself as very lucky. There are bigger issues in the world."

It will be the first Christmas alone for Sian, 45, from Aberdare, Rhondda Cynon Taf, who lost her dad unexpectedly a few months ago.

As a single parent, he always made it magical for her - but now she is dreading the day.

Sian said: "I used to enjoy Christmas, but not anymore, it's very lonely.

"I think people should be kinder to each other as you never know what some are going through. If you can, say hello to someone in the street because when you don't see someone all day it just means so much."

Carolyn Walton-Freeman is the organiser of Company at Christmas, a community event which brings lonely people from the Cynon Valley together on Christmas day.

People who would otherwise be alone are invited to attend a free lunch, with games and entertainment at a school in Aberdare.

Widow Carolyn, 62, has volunteered at the event since it started in 2015, and used to go with her mother until she died in 2020.

"It is a really difficult time of year for me," she said.

"It brings home to me everything in my life that I don't have… I don't have a family, I don't have a partner, I don't have children and all my friends are married and they all have kids.

"So, this event really does mean everything to me."

Last year the event catered for 100 people, including home deliveries for some who are housebound.

Margaret, 87, from Mountain Ash, will be attending for the fourth time.

She said: "When you go there, you feel like you're part of one big family. You feel welcome the minute you arrive until the minute you leave."

According to research from Age Cymru, nearly 85,000 people aged 65 or over in Wales will eat Christmas dinner alone this year.

More than 112,000 older people - about one in six - described it as the hardest day of the year for them.

"Christmas heightens a sense of loneliness," said the charity's Michael Phillips.

"Many people are all alone through no fault of their own, their loved ones may have passed away, or their family may have moved away for work, or they may be housebound due to an illness."

The charity started a phone calling scheme during Covid, where people get a weekly call.

However, there are now 500 people using the scheme and only 300 volunteers.

Mr Phillips urged people to sign up, adding: "For an older person, I think ultimately it shows that somebody still cares about them, and that they are still valued, and that they still matter."