Cardiff: Volunteers give up Christmas Day to feed care leavers

Matching pyjamas, board games that never end, family politics, and food that we never want to see for another year is traditionally the epitome of Christmas Day.

But what does it look like for those that do not have a family?

After growing up in care, award-winning author Lemn Sissay set up an annual Christmas dinner event to make sure people in the system never have to spend Christmas Day alone.

The concept started in 2013 in Manchester but quickly snowballed into multiple dinners across the rest of England.

Now, volunteers are changing their traditions on 25 December to give care leavers in Cardiff a special day to remember.

"Young people we speak to every day often say, 'well I'm just going to be sat at home microwaving something from Iceland on my own in a mouldy bed and breakfast'," said Lorna Stabler, who has helped bring the concept to Wales for the first time.

The volunteer and associate at Cardiff University's children's social care research centre, CASCADE, said that was the reality for many young care experienced people over the holidays.

She said her experiences growing up in care fuelled her desire to bring Sissay's model to Wales.

"Even if you have a really nice foster home, it feels like it's never really your home.

"You kind of know that foster carers paid are an allowance to look after you, they have to write everything down about your behaviour... you know, it's not a normal family environment."

After months of planning, Lorna and her colleagues have helped coordinate dinner, presents, activities and company for about 25 people mainly aged 16 to 25 who would otherwise be spending Christmas alone.

More than 500 people or organisations have offered their support, with huge sums of donations pouring in from law frim Ascot Lloyd, Bad Boy Brownies, barbers, cinemas, chefs and other independent businesses.

Lorna, originally from Newcastle, said the goal for volunteers was to shine a light on "some really difficult circumstances" faced by young people and to ensure they have a "great time".

She said the team knows the day might not be "a barrel of laughs for everyone" given the fact that some young people's idea of Christmas has been "shattered" by their experience of growing up in care.

"There'll be people who have experienced parent abuse, sexual abuse and exploitation as well.

"What it'll mean [the day] is it'll give young people an example of what a supportive, safe, healthy Christmas could be. And that that doesn't mean you have to smile all the time."

Care leaver Cheyenne said she "can't wait to help others" on Christmas Day. "I've been telling everyone I'm doing it."

This year, the 21-year-old moved out of her foster mother's home and will be spending part of the day with other young care experienced people at the venue at Spark|Sbarc.

She has helped prepare for the day on 21 December because she wants care leavers to know that "there are people out there to support you in situations that you are going through... we are there to help".

Unfortunately for her, while the playlist she has sorted will not be filled with drill music, she has had an active part in collating tunes for the day and arranging colour schemes.

Fifteen-year-old Ffion could not resist getting involved when she heard her mother Louise Roberts talking about the project over the phone.

"I find it quite upsetting to think that young people would be spending Christmas alone and I just wanted to be a part of something that would make people happy," she said.

The pair, from Bridgend, have been wrapping presents and helping pick up food donated by Waitrose.

Ffion said her family's Christmas Day is usually "big" but would rather rearrange her day for another to be a part of the event.

"I don't see a reason why we shouldn't be there because for us, we can have Christmas whenever, and for these people it's going to be really difficult," she said.

Louise, who has been involved in the project every step of the way, said "it's been a massive undertaking".

"I think we all underestimated how huge it would be, but it's been a really fabulous experience."

When Rachel Vaughn got asked by a young person who just left care if they could spend Christmas with her, she said she hated not being able to provide.

She said she thought about that moment a lot, which was part of her drive to get on board with Cascade's project.

The engagement manager from Cardiff said a few people told her they were "really excited they have somewhere to go", adding: "No one should have to spend Christmas alone."

"I hope that they feel happy, supported and safe.

"And an idea that Christmas isn't always what you see on TV and all the kind of media ideas of what a family is. It can be a community as well. So that's what I hope to get out of it."

Former children's commissioner for Wales, Sally Holland has met many young people who have grown up in care.

"Young people and young adults are actually among the most lonely group, often in our population," she said.

"We're really keen that they feel looked after and welcomed on Christmas Day, and they can take it at any pace they want with us."

It may be the first time an event like this is being launched in Wales, but it is just the start.

The team hopes to hold a Christmas dinner in each city or hub in Wales over the next five years.