Father's Day: Men share challenges of being a dad

A dad who suffered a breakdown after witnessing the traumatic birth of his son says the impact a new baby can have on fathers is often overlooked.

Mark Williams, 48, said both the birth and supporting his wife through postnatal depression had a "massive impact" on his mental health.

"The first time I had a panic attack was in the labour ward thinking my wife and baby were going to die," he said.

Mark, from Bridgend, said he suffered in silence with depression for years.

Then in 2004 when his wife went into labour he witnessed her in prolonged pain and had to stand by helpless when she was rushed to theatre.

When their baby was still small his wife was diagnosed with post-natal depression.

"Obviously I witnessed my wife go through those things as well," he said.

"I was really unwell, I was drinking, avoiding situations."

He began looking for support but struggled, and found a lack of conversation around new dads and mental health.

He was eventually diagnosed with anxiety and depression and later Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

He said therapy, medication and learning coping skills through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy all played a part in improving his mental health.

Today he is an advocate for fathers' mental health and wants to see more support for new and expectant dads.

"If dad is suffering with mental health or confidence, whatever that looks like, that can have an impact on the relationship and obviously on the child as well," he said.

"So it's really important that all parents should have our support."

Mark has been supporting the For Dads By Dads group in Torfaen, educating new and expecting men on the challenges of the early years of fatherhood.

The group was set up by another dad, Jacob Guy, who said: "There were times where I did feel a little bit isolated and needed more information to be the best dad that I could be.

When Jacob, 41, from Chepstow, Monmouthshire, became a dad he felt that he did not have a network of people who were going through the same thing and would understand how he was feeling.

He looked around for dad groups but was unable to find the support he was looking for.

In 2022 he decided to set up a 10-week programme aimed to give dads a safe space and to educate new and expectant dads by running workshops covering a wide range of subjects.

The group gives opportunities to fathers to share experiences, build a network of support and tackle the challenges that come with fatherhood.

And that support is vital: According to the British Journal of Midwifery, one in 10 fathers are affected by post-natal depression, which is about the same rate as mothers.

Up to 38% of new dads are worried about their mental health and want more support, according social enterprise DadPad, which was developed with the NHS and real-life dads.

The Welsh government said it was investing in the development of perinatal mental health teams and networks.

"We remain committed to improving perinatal mental health services and will consider what further action can be taken," it said.

Jacob said he had seen the positive impact being around other dads had had on new fathers.

"It's built their confidence to know we're not going to get it right all the time," he said.

"If we make mistakes, we dust ourselves down and we start again."