Should you ever push products onto your friends?
AlamyYou have a great product that you think your friends would love. But they feel that you’re giving them the hard sell. What to do?
Q. How do I avoid a conflict of interest if I involve my friends in my business life? Where is the line between giving people information or selling them a product that I think could help them (knowing that if they become customers, I benefit financially), and taking advantage of our relationship to sell something? How can I keep my friends while also being true to my employer?
A. The line between friends and business prospects is a fluid one. In fact, some businesses are built expressly on eliminating this divide: think Avon, Tupperware, Scentsy, Stella & Dot or any in-home party-plan model, which encourages sales representatives to sell directly to their friends and broader circles.
But problems can arise if you think you’re providing the people in your network with a valuable product or service, but they feel like you’re giving them the hard sell. No one likes to be the target of an unwanted sales pitch — or feel that their friendship is being exploited.
You’ll have to be careful not to be overly pushy about making sales, not to make friends feel badly for saying no to your pitches (or your suggestions that they tell their own networks about your products), and not to use guilt as a weapon to force purchases on your friends. This is especially true if you’re in network marketing, which uses parties to sell jewellery, clothing, or diet plans, among other products.
Alamy“If your business involves these kind of social sales, be ready for a lot of polite ‘no’ answers, and don’t push too hard lest it ruin your friendships,” said Christine Whelan, a clinical professor in the School of Human Ecology at the University of Wisconsin–Madison, in the US.
To mitigate potential problems, give friends a few options, Whelan suggested by email: “Share information based on your expertise, perhaps offer them an insider discount and clearly say that there is no pressure to buy.”
Be transparent
Transparency is the best way to get around these potential conflicts, said Deborah Rupp, a professor of industrial-organisational psychology at Purdue University in Lafayette, Indiana, in the US. “The best way to deal with potential ethical quandaries is to talk about them,” Rupp, who is the university’s research integrity officer, said by email.
Don’t ambush your friends. Be upfront with them about your job or your relationship with a company that’s paying you to sell things. And back off if they seem uncomfortable or tell you they aren’t interested in what you’re selling.
iStockThe reverse problem is also an issue for employees, Rupp said. Companies often have conflict-of-interest policies that govern how staff should interact with outsiders: vendors, clients, government regulators and consultants. “The term ‘conflict’ in this phrase can sometimes lead employees to fear that networking in certain ways will get them in trouble with their employer,” Rupp said.
Speak up
Again, the key is to speak up. Tell your boss or your human-resources department if you’re concerned about a potential conflict — or damaging your relationship. As soon as you become aware, say, that your friendship with someone who works at a vendor will make it difficult for that firm to give you competitive pricing, raise it as an issue.
It’s not reasonable for you to jettison your professional acquaintances, not to mention your family or friends, because of your job. Both you and the company are better served by letting you keep your network, Rupp said: “Many times, once disclosed and documented, such relationships can continue, even potentially with additional support from the organisation.”
Spend Wisely
Think of your business with friends as promoting “prosocial spending”, Whelan said, the idea that you can use your resources to benefit others. When a friend buys from another friend, that can make the purchaser happier than buying from a stranger can, because you’ll derive satisfaction from finding “a way to show your friend that you share their vision and are cheering for their success.”
The ethics of a dignified exit
Q. After a senior manager was fired, to help preserve his dignity, the company told everyone he had retired. Now his former direct reports are complaining about the new supervisor hired to replace him (who reports to me). Some of the problems relate to the new person, but I think it's mostly about the employees’ confusion, suspicion, and anger that he "retired" without saying goodbye, and their concern that it might be a smokescreen for a mass redundancy. How should I handle this while protecting his privacy?
A. It sounds like your company has a culture of distrust: a senior manager disappears without a trace, and people assume he’s the harbinger of more job losses to come. It’s likely that they see through management’s ruse and suspect he’s been fired. And you’re in a bind, because you can’t tell anyone he was fired for cause without betraying the promise the company gave him not to divulge the real reason he left.
The company’s ethical impulses were correct when it came to treating him with respect. In the future, however, think twice before making a top manager vanish like this.
Alamy“It's not unusual to say a person has retired when in fact he or she has been fired, but it is a mistake not to have an event and honour his or her service,” said Hilary Pearl, an executive coach and organisational consultant in Old Greenwich, Connecticut.
If you’re trying to maintain the fiction that this person was of value to the organisation — and there is no legal reason you had to show him the door immediately — you have to follow through on making it look like he ended his tenure respectably. If the person might be embarrassed and not want a big party, consider asking him to do something low-key, like meeting the team for drinks after work or coming into the office for a cake.
It’s not too late to mop up the mess. First, figure out if indeed there is to be a mass layoff. If so, anything you do will be seen as further evidence of disingenuousness, because you will have proved the doubters right.
iStockIf the firing is a one-off, work to allay your employees' fears that their new supervisor won’t treat them well or run the business in the best way. Encourage the new boss and the employees to get to know each other.
Consider bringing in an executive coach (either from within your organisation or outside) to conduct some 360-degree interviews. Questions should include: What's going well? What could be improved or changed? What should the new supervisor do more of, less of, or keep doing? What can you do to help your team succeed and to help the team work more effectively? Once the supervisor gets this anonymous feedback, he or she can create an action plan and share it with the employees — in a manner that makes them confident of their job security.
This might turn out to be a lot of work on your part, but it can clear the air in the office and help the new supervisor move ahead, Pearl said. “The 360 process shows the staff that their opinions matter, offers them a formal opportunity to air their concerns and, if there are residual issues related to how their former boss left, gets that on the table.”