TikTok personal trainer says stammer is his superpower

Having a stammer is no obstacle for personal trainer Joe Dilling: in fact, he describes it as his superpower.

"I wouldn't change having a stammer. I think it is a part of me and it makes me, me," he said.

Joe's TikTok and Instagram posts are full of positivity, but getting to this place of self acceptance has been an 18-year journey for the 23-year-old.

As in more than 90% of cases, Joe's stammer began at the age of five with no apparent cause.

As a child he was not really aware of his own stammering - sometimes also called stuttering - but it was getting noticed by adults.

"In class I wouldn't answer a question... if we ever had to do public speaking I'd just try and get out of it because I wasn't confident and I didn't know what other people would think about me having a stammer," said Joe, from Llantwit Major in the Vale of Glamorgan.

Secondary school was tough until he found a good group of friends and sport, which "helped a lot".

So what does stammering feel like?

"It's like a block," explained Joe.

"I know what I want to say, it's not coming out. It feels like my throat is tight and I'm trying to force out the word."

According to the NHS Stammering Network, 1%-3% of the adult population experience lifelong stammering and it is four times more common in men than women.

Dealing with other people's reactions is something Joe has learnt to live with - sometimes taking the form of unsolicited advice.

"It's not that helpful if you give someone who has a stammer advice because a lot of the time they have tried it," he said.

"[Suggestions include] taking a deep breath and slowing it down and I'm like 'I'm trying to do that and obviously it's not working or I would have done it'."

Some people have also suggested he try singing.

"This is the surprising thing, I don't have a stammer if I sing at all so I could sing all day but that's not really a practical solution is it, so I can't unfortunately."

Like many people who live with a stammer, Joe gets people trying to finish his sentences on his behalf.

"It can get a little bit annoying because I know what I'm trying to say, it's just that it's not coming out," he said."

For Joe, reaching a positive mindset took time.

"You reach a point where you have to accept you have a stammer and embrace it or it will just take over your life and you'll stop doing certain things."

During Covid lockdowns he had more time on his hands and started opening up about his stammer on social media, posting as thestammerpt.

In one post he said: "I used to think having a stammer defined who I am, I used to let it stop me from doing the things and achieving the things I wanted in life.

"It's only when I realised that my stammer is my superpower and is what makes me me, that things began to change."

He was encouraged by positive messages from other people who stammer.

His posts are rarely aimed at improving a stammer and more geared towards acceptance as, for a lot of people, "it's not going away".

Joe is in a relationship but said while dating he found it best to let people know about his stammer before they met up, and has a similar approach when applying for jobs.

"Interviews are tough for anyone but it is particularly tough if you have a stammer, so again I'm just upfront about it - I put in my CV.

"I think in a lot of instances having a stammer in a job, it won't affect you. Even if you have to do a lot of public speaking, everyone is nervous in public."

Having a stammer certainly has not limited Joe's career options as "every single job I've done has been a public speaking role".

"I've always just gone for what I'm interested in and worry about having a stammer afterwards."

Joe has been working at Force Strength & Conditioning in Llandow for the past 18 months.

Part of his job is taking the gym's circuit classes, where dozens of people move around multiple stations every 60 seconds. Joe has to co-ordinate the session by shouting over loud music.

"It can be a bit nerve-racking [but] I find because I've done it so many times it's become second nature and I've got into a bit of a flow," he said.

So what advice would he give to people about how to best support someone, as Sunday marks International Stuttering Awareness Day?

"I think you just have to treat them like everyone else. Everyone who has a stammer is just a normal person."