Cancer: Man urges check-ins on friends with disease

A rugby coach who has spent nearly 18 months fighting for his life against cancer is urging people to support their friends in similar situations.

Cobi Flowers, 26, said friends did not know how to react after he was diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma at the start of lockdown.

The Teenage Cancer Trust said more than half of young patients had experienced friends reducing contact.

Of those surveyed, 40% said they friends had stopped getting in touch.

After being told in March last year that he was suffering from Hodgkin's lymphoma - a type of blood cancer common among 15 to 34-year-olds - the Cobi wanted to share the bad news with a rugby team he coaches.

Cobi, from Cardiff, said: "It was time for Covid's lock-up and I was in a Zoom meeting with them."I remember about 20 small screens on the computer in front of me, all bubbly and cracking jokes.

"Anyway I got round to telling them 'look boys I have to tell you I've got cancer' and in that moment each one of those screens went black as they switched off. That was very difficult to deal with."

After overcoming the initial shock, he said the group came together and supported him through months of difficult treatment.

Helen Veitch, of the Teenage Cancer Trust, said: "It's understandable to feel scared or not know what to say if one of your friends has cancer.

"But not contacting a friend because you feel awkward can make them feel like you've forgotten about them when they really need you.

"Talk to them about how you feel, ask how you can support them and remember that information is available."

Cobi started to feel unwell following a football trip to Germany in 2019 - he was tired and having trouble breathing.

After months of going back and forth to the GP, the rugby and football coach was sent to hospital and a tumour more than 7cm (2.5in) long near his lung and treatment needed to be started immediately.

He said: "I remember sitting in the garden outside alone crying just thinking about everything. Just looking up and asking 'why me?'

"But then in the same moment of thinking - well why not me? People suffer much worse things in the world.

"I've taken this as a personal challenge. Since that moment I haven't cried or felt sorry for myself."

Cobi then embarked on six months of treatment, including chemotherapy and surgery to transplant healthy cells into his body.

Despite the intense treatment, Cobi, who is assistant coach of the University of South Wales' rugby first team and runs the Sparta Club football club in Cardiff, continued to stay busy.

He is now president of the University of South Wales Students' Union.

"Sometimes I had to remind myself that I had cancer and that I was very ill," he said.

"I may not have looked normal but it was important to me that I was performing normally."

With the support of his family and friends, Cobi has come through the treatment and things are looking more positive.

He said: "Last week I started what doctors hope will be the last round of treatment.

"This time has given a different perspective on life. Someone works hours and hours a week and has no life with him.

"After all this I am certain that the choices I would make for the future will be different from the ones I would have made before becoming ill."