My labour of love caring for wife with Alzheimer's

A man whose wife has Alzheimer's said caring for her was a "labour of love" he was grateful to perform for her.

Brian Lea, 83, from Swindon, cares for his wife Dawn who was diagnosed with the disease 12 years ago.

He has been sharing his experience of being a carer as part of campaign by the Alzheimer's Society looking at how relationships change after a diagnosis.

The charity campaign features a TV advert depicting couples like the Leas who have been affected by the disease.

Mr Lea said the responsibilities could be challenging and his wife often had no idea who he was but he loved "her more" than ever.

"She often doesn't know who I am but I'm the lucky one- I'm lucky to have her."

They met in Locarno in Swindon in the 1950s and in the early days of their courtship he said he had "let her down a few times".

"I wasn't sure I wanted to get involved with anybody. I didn't turn up twice."

However, his now wife persevered, and three months after their first meeting he realised she was "somebody special" that he wanted to marry at 18.

Describing himself as "lucky", the ex-body builder said it had "worked out" well for him.

Mrs Lea was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 12 years ago following a visit to the GP for shoulder pain.

She was referred to a memory clinic after friends noticed she was telling the same stories.

The condition soon progressed, affecting her mobility and her ability to do every day tasks, which prompted Mr Lea's decision to stop working to look after her full time.

The former quality manager for Pilkington said his "wonderful wife" and mother to their son, was his first priority.

"I'd phone Dawn from work at lunch times and she'd be crying because she couldn't work the TV, the phone or even know how to put the heating on anymore.

"I started to reduce the number of days and eventually I stopped working altogether five years ago. Dawn came first."

"I can't imagine what it would be like looking after her, If I didn't feel the way that I do.

"Doing the things I have to do for her. It's a labour of love and I'm grateful for that," he added.

Mr Lea said while his wife can no longer recall details from their relationship or former life, he hangs onto the little moments - especially the times when she tells him "I love you" and blows him kisses.

He acknowledged that caring full-time for his wife was "hard work" and thanked the Swindon Dementia Support Team for doing "that little bit more than they have to".

"I couldn't have gone on this long without the help I've had. They have been a Godsend," he added.

Helen, a dementia advisor from the Swindon Dementia Support Team, who visits him regularly said they "talk to people and help them try and find the laughter and help them cope".

She urged those needing support to come forward and not "beat yourself up".

Mr Lea said although at time he found it hard, he had never once questioned who would look after his "selfless" wife.

He said: "I always came first. It was always what do I need, what would I like... I just wanted to pay back the favour."

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