Rapper says music helped her come to terms with son's autism

Neme NemeNeme
Neme said she turned to music as an outlet after her father was violently attacked in front of her family when she was 12

A rapper has described music as an "addiction that's all right to have" as a way to cope with her son's autism and the break-up of her relationship.

Neme, known to her family and friends as Michelle Hobart, started recording at the age of 16 and will release her fifth album next year.

When her son Larry was 13 months old, health professionals confirmed her suspicions he had autism.

She said music had got her "out of... a dark place".

"It's like opening windows, and all the dust goes flying out of the room."

Neme Michelle and her son LarryNeme
Neme with her son Larry on his third birthday

Neme, 31, from Sprowston, near Norwich, said she turned to music after listening to Eminem at the age of 14.

Two years earlier, her father had been brutally attacked on the city's Larkman estate when a row over a driveway escalated.

"[They] stormed into my house and tried to kill my dad in front of my mum," said Neme, who had barricaded herself in the kitchen.

"I did well in first school, in middle school, but when this event happened, it changed everything.

"Then I got given the Marshall Mathers LP for Christmas... I thought 'he's put all these bad things into songs - I can do that as well'.

"I used to get arrested - all that anger building up and not knowing what to do with it. So I thought 'put it in music'."

Neme Neme performing against a background of her lyricsNeme
Neme said her album would be released next year and its honest lyrics would "open the doors to my world"

A recent string of life-changing events saw Neme, who shares her son's care with her ex-partner, return to a "dark place".

"I could not deal with the relationship breakdown, being a single mum and a son with autism," she said.

"I just moved in [to a new home] and obviously I can't have conversation with Larry. I felt so alone."

She said she had questioned her honesty about her struggles, but felt writing gave her an important chance to "open the doors" to her world.

'A journey'

She is now working towards her next album and is releasing a new track every couple of months.

"You hear stories of people getting their children taken off them, and you get to the point where you think: 'Do I write a song about how I feel or tell people?'."

Neme initially blamed herself for Larry's disability because of a long labour and birth complications.

"It's a nightmare - I'm not going to sugar-coat anything," she said.

"There have been times when I've thought I don't know if I can bond with him because this is my child, but how has he turned out like this?

"Then you get to that point of acceptance… and now I look at it as a journey."

Neme with producer Jonny Cole at The Mill Recording Studio
Neme, a shop assistant, has been working with producer Jonny Cole since she was 16