Drink-drive victim's mother explains horror of losing a child

Family handout/West Yorkshire Police Elliott Aaron LemmFamily handout/West Yorkshire Police
Elliott Lemm, described by his family as "gorgeous and vibrant", died in November 2021 when a car he was a passenger in crashed into a wall

Elliott Lemm, 20, died in November 2021 when Chelsea Standage lost control of the Vauxhall Corsa they were in and crashed into a wall in West Yorkshire. She was nearly twice the drink-drive limit.

In July, 21-year-old Standage was jailed for eight years and eight months.

Elliott's mother Sammy Lemm has agreed to talk to BBC News about her family's ongoing agony, adding weight to festive drink-drive campaigns being launched by police forces across the country.

For Sammy Lemm, time does not heal.

In her mind's eye, she replays closing the lid on her son Elliott's coffin.

"No parent should ever have to put their child into the dark," she says, the raw emotion still evident in her voice. "It's two years but it seems like it was yesterday.

"Elliott didn't even get to celebrate his 21st birthday."

Investigations showed the car, driven by Standage, had been travelling at 70mph in a 30mph zone, with police blaming the combination of "impaired judgement from drinking alcohol" and speed for the crash, which injured two others.

The breath test given by Standage, of Barden Road, Wakefield, recorded 63 micrograms of alcohol per 100 millilitres of breath, Leeds Crown Court heard.

The legal limit is 35.

Ms Lemm, who feels Standage's sentence was "an absolute joke", says: "She got eight years. We've got a life sentence."

West Yorkshire Police Crashed carWest Yorkshire Police
West Yorkshire Police said excessive speed and Standage's "impaired judgement from drinking alcohol" killed Mr Lemm and seriously injured two others

After the case, police said they hoped "some closure" would follow for Mr Lemm's family.

It has not.

His mother says: "Every day is a struggle. Something inside you dies when you lose a child. Nothing is ever the same again.

"We're dreading Christmas."

During the festive season, police forces are urging people to think about the devastation drink driving can cause. It is a message Ms Lemm is keen to endorse.

She says: "Elliott would not have known how much she [Standage] had that day but I would say to people do not get into a car if you know someone has been drinking.

"Make sure you ask the driver if they have had a drink."

Ms Lemm also has a message to those who drink and drive.

"You don't know how that half a pint or glass of wine is going to affect you," she warns. "If you want to drink, get a taxi or ask someone who isn't drinking to give you a lift."

Mr Lemm's death was investigated by West Yorkshire Police, which has compiled The 12 Excuses of Christmas; an attempt, it says, to highlight common excuses people give officers to justify drink-driving.

Ch Insp James Farrar, head of the force's Roads Policing Unit, says: "Common excuses include, 'I only had a couple', 'I wasn't driving very far' or 'I haven't had a drink since last night'.

"The consequences can include a fine, a driving disqualification or even a prison sentence.

"But most importantly the outcome could be having to live with the knowledge that you have seriously injured, or even worse, killed an innocent person."

A chart showing drink drive convictions

Elsewhere, North Yorkshire Police's Christmas campaign carries the message: 'Don't shatter lives'. Last year, the force recorded its highest number of drink-drive convictions in 13 years.

Sgt Paul Cording says he would not apologise for taking drivers over the limit for booze or drugs away from their loved ones.

"We're not prepared to allow the careless actions of one individual ruin a family's Christmas.

"If you know someone is about to drive and you believe they are under the influence of drink or drugs call us on 999."

Nearly 7,000 drivers were convicted of drink-drive offences across Yorkshire and Lincolnshire last year, figures from the Ministry of Justice show.

Broken down by police force area there were 2,535 convictions in West Yorkshire, 1,333 in South Yorkshire, 1,063 in North Yorkshire, 1,028 in the area covered by Lincolnshire Police and 976 in the area served by the Humberside force.

Ms Lemm believes the figures are still "too high".

She adds: "If talking about what happened to Elliott saves one life, it will have been worth it."

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'It will change their life forever'

Sgt Mike Templeman
Sgt Mike Templeman tells of the trauma of delivering news of a fatality

Sgt Mike Templeman, one of the Lincolnshire Police officers who star in Channel 5 programme Police Interceptors, says telling a family their loved one has been killed in a crash is "horrendous".

He says: "When you approach the house, sometimes you can hear people laughing inside and it just makes it all the more horrendous knowing that what you're about to tell them is going to stop that laughter.

"You know that what you are going to say to them, in those few moments, is just going to change their life forever and it's like a ripple effect. It's not just the next of kin, its friends, communities, all people involved, and it affects them forever."

Sgt Templeman talks about delivering the message in a new video by Lincolnshire Police as part of its festive campaign.

He adds: "I hope it's impactful and I hope it makes people realise the devastation it causes to the families and then hopefully it'll get people driving a bit safer on the road."

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