A63 crash: Husband of crash victim tells of impact on their family

A year ago, 43-year-old Ali Clark was killed when her car was hit by a BMW travelling in the wrong direction on the A63 in East Yorkshire. The three men in the BMW also died. BBC News' Kevin Shoesmith visited Ali's husband Rob, and discovered how he and their daughter are coping with their loss.

From his home overlooking Elloughton Primary School, Rob Clark sees children playing in 'Ali's Garden' every day. "It's perfect," he tells me, smiling. "It's Ali through and through."

Ali Clark was chair of the Friends of Elloughton School Association (FESA), and more than £8,000 was raised to create the garden in tribute.

She died on 22 November 2021 three weeks before her daughter's 10th birthday.

Rob, 41, an IT consultant tells me: "I am still very angry. There is no one to take action against. There is no chance of getting any sense of justice."

Instead, he and their daughter have been left trying to rebuild their shattered lives, helped by a close-knit community who have rallied around them.

We're sitting in the family's living room. Next to us is a cabinet full of framed photographs of Ali and treasured family keepsakes. A Christmas tree is up in the conservatory and stockings hang off the mantlepiece.

"One moment the love of your life is putting your child to bed, the next you're getting a knock on the door from the police," says Rob. "It's completely unnatural for somebody to just no longer be here."

That evening, Ali, an accountant who used her skills to help FESA and the village church, had put her daughter to bed, before travelling six miles down the road to a local hotel for a swim.

"Ali was a member of Humber Triathletes," says Rob. "Other members were training at a gym in Hull that night. Ali didn't want to travel that far, so she went to the hotel instead."

Rob recalls the moment the police told him his wife had been involved in the crash.

"Your whole life just falls apart," he says. "For a brief moment, I thought our daughter had gone swimming with her mum."

"I ran upstairs," he continues. "And there she was, fast asleep. Safe. Tucked up in bed."

Humberside Police had been pursuing the BMW, Rob was told. Due to the force's involvement, it referred itself to the Independent Office For Police Conduct (IOPC) who investigated the circumstances of the crash. "I have been given a summary of the report," says Rob. "The police were not in any way to blame." The pursuit had been called off before the BMW entered onto the A63 at North Ferriby, he was told.

The occupants of BMW - Sam Connors, 20, Willy Harty, 21, and Lawrence James, 21 - also lost their lives.

Rob reflects on the "randomness" of the tragedy, pointing out his wife had not followed her usual schedule that day. "What if she had spent an extra five minutes in the pool?" he says. "The odds of everything happening to have resulted in that crash would have been astronomical. Yet it happened."

Still, his mind is full of 'what ifs'. "It's a dangerous path to go down", he says. "But a year on I'm still asking them."

He recalled how he had met his future wife in 2001, at a mutual friend's wedding in Bristol. They married in 2005. "It was a really natural relationship," he says. "We were instantly comfortable with each other. We'd joke we were like an old married couple within three months of meeting."

Describing Ali as "a force of nature", Rob says this was tempered by a calming demeanour; no more so than when she was around their daughter or helping others. "She was a guiding star to everyone she met," he says.

Ali organised local grief walks to help those struggling with loss. Two days before she died, she posted these words on her Facebook account: "Sometimes it can feel like the pain will overwhelm you but have faith in yourself, you can come through it. Grief gives the full measure of love. Be gentle with yourself and ask for support from friends and loved ones if you need it."

Rob says: "I think it's a perfect quote, and it's helped me massively over the past year."

Two days after her mother died, their daughter returned to school. "When your world falls apart, you're desperate for an anchor. School, who have been amazing, was that anchor," says Rob.

Father and daughter have sought professional support, something Rob advocates for others experiencing trauma. I ask Rob how he and his daughter are coping practically. "Ali talked about marriage being a team," he replies. "We'd share the load. I don't have that now. It causes me quite a bit of anxiety."

Rob admits the crash has made him "overly protective" of his daughter. "When something like this happens, you realise the unthinkable can happen," he says.

He tells me he is moving forward in his personal life, forming a new relationship with Stefanie who also suffered a sudden loss of a spouse. Her support has been "invaluable" to both him and his daughter, says Rob. He adds: "Ali and I had that conversation. The biggest kindness you can do for a partner is tell them that it's okay to move forward with your life if anything happens".

Rob wants to share his journey, to give hope to others. He says: "Immediately after Ali died, I needed hope, even the slightest glimmer. I needed to know one day we would smile again."

He thinks Ali would be proud of him and his daughter, he nods towards the carpet and adds: "Being very house-proud, she'd probably be telling me I'd missed a bit though."

An IOPC spokesman said it was unable to comment until after the inquests next year, the dates for which have yet to be set.

If you have been affected by issues raised in this article, there is information and support available via the BBC Action Line.

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