Covid: 'This could be her last Mother's Day'

Mother's Day will be different this year. Three women tell the BBC how they will mark the day without that special person in their life.

Wendy Gannaway, 52, lives in Chelmsford in Essex and won't be able to see her mother Irene, 77, this Mother's Day despite her living 13 miles away in South Woodham Ferrers.

They both agreed it would be best for Irene to be in a support bubble with Wendy's in-laws, who live a few doors away from Irene.

"This will be the second Mother's Day where I have not been able to see my mum," said Wendy.

"Although last year Mother's Day was the day before lockdown, I had to quarantine for 14 days because my husband, who works in the city, caught the virus.

"It's been hard. We lost my lovely dad very suddenly in April 2019, so for my mum, with no other children, and herself an only child and no other family, it's been extremely tough.

"We have a very close relationship. She's my rock, my best friend, and the most important person in my world.

"It's really heart breaking not being able to see and hug my mum.

"I haven't hugged her in over a year.

"We talk on the phone regularly and sometimes I have to put on a jolly front. Phone calls aren't the same. I miss her so much."

Tracy Giddings, of Harold Wood in north-east London, is hoping to see her mum, who has Alzheimer's and is in a care home, for a window visit this Mother's Day.

Her father is the nominated visitor for the care home and so she has to rely on outside visits with her sister.

"My mum is on the second floor and my daughter and I were down on the ground at Christmas, looking up to her to wish her Merry Christmas," said the 55-year-old.

"This will be the first Mother's Day where I might not be able to spend it with her. She only lives round the corner.

"Last year I stood on her doorstep for a visit, before she was moved into the home.

"We always have a family meal for Mother's Day. We are quite social as a family and we won't be able to do that this year.

"I bought toiletries, balloons, and flowers for her at the care home so she has something nice to see.

"I obviously want to see her face-to-face as I'm watching my mum slowly die on Facetime.

"It looks like my mum but it isn't my mum. It could be her last Mother's Day."

Samia Dar, 43, of Chigwell in Essex, has three young children to help her celebrate the day, but has felt like a mother for much longer.

"I was eight or nine when my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and she died when I was just turning 18," she said.

"I was still at school, and I grew up overnight. My older brother has Down's syndrome and my father was never in the country.

"I became the mother of the house."

She hopes for a lazy lockdown Mother's Day, courtesy of 16-year-old Hashim, daughter Malika, who will be 11 at the end of March, and son Haseeb, aged 10.

"I try to make Mother's Day a really big deal to block out the memories [that] I couldn't be a part of it as a child," she said.

"My mother-in-law lives in Afghanistan and I have never met her.

"She speaks Persian and Pashto, and I speak English and Urdu as my parental heritage is from Pakistan, so we can't communicate apart from a simple hello.

"From a cultural point of view, she doesn't really understand Mother's Day.

"I celebrate with my children. I am hoping I can have the day off hoovering and doing laundry.

"I don't want diamonds - just the day off.

"Last year I got a painting, one year I had a lovely breakfast made for me, but a messy kitchen to follow.

"Haseeb brought me cornflakes with gone-off milk. His older brother had left the milk out of the fridge. I had to take a couple of mouthfuls for them to show I liked it.

"Every year I get a different surprise - it is lovely and heart-warming."

As told to Vicky Carter

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