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'I didn't think I would ever sit down and enjoy a Christmas meal'

BBC Amber Harrison is wearing a red jumper and has a red bow in her brown hair. She's sitting in a large room, with some Christmas tree decorations in the background. BBC
Amber Harrison, who was diagnosed with anorexia when she was 12 years old, says there is "strength in seeking help"

"I'd describe Christmas as the perfect storm for someone suffering from an eating disorder - so many factors come together that make it really difficult - with food being the obvious one."

That's according to Paula Gibson, from Freed Beyond, a social enterprise that gives support to those suffering from an eating disorder.

"With an eating disorder food is not the issue – but food then gets used as the substance to numb that inner distress that's felt," she explained.

Paula said organisations that help with eating disorders in Northern Ireland is seeing more and more people come forward.

'Talking is huge'

Three women stand together. Paula Gibson has shoulder-length blond hair and is wearing a grey jumper. Amber Harrison is wearing a red jumper and has brown hair pulled back. Christelle Lees has long brown hair and is wearing a black and white stripped top.
Paula Gibson (left), Amber Harrison (centre) and Christelle Lees (right)

Amber Harrison, 25, was diagnosed with anorexia when she was 12 years old.

She said the illness took grip when she made the transition to secondary school and struggled to fit in.

"It affected every aspect of my life – the biggest thing, initially, was I was taken out of school. It affected my joy as I didn't know how to have fun anymore," she said.

She sought access to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) and has been recovered for the past eight years.

She said everyone will have a different story.

"Talking is huge – to talk openly and vulnerably about what you are dealing with and what you are going through," she explained.

Social events can be tricky

"There is a lot of strength in seeking help. I think sometimes accepting that you need people to help you is a really hard thing to do."

However she added that for somebody with an eating disorder, Christmas can be difficult.

"The one thing you struggle with the most - is the one thing Christmas is so focused on," she said.

She said social events can be tricky.

"Either you go to the events and you are singled out because people can see you are struggling - or you don't go to social events and people are wondering why aren't you there?

"The language used around Christmas can be quite hard for people with an eating disorder - and for me the biggest thing around Christmas time was lack of routine."

'Christmas is food'

Christelle Lees is smiling as she holds a baby. The baby is smiling and wearing mustard coloured tights and a colourful cardigan.
Christelle Lees says Christmas was difficult when she had an eating disorder

Christelle Lees, 32, first experienced disordered eating when she was a teenager, and for her it was about "lots of things going on around me".

"I was bullied at school. I came from France, I was taller than everyone else, I was bigger built than everyone else and I struggled to fit in," she said.

"When I went to university at 18 I had a lot of fad diets – a lot of disordered eating.

"I lost my grandfather, a relationship broke up – and life felt really out of control."

That was when she started to control her food and was diagnosed with anorexia.

"I battled that for a couple of years," she said.

"Christmas back then when I had an eating disorder was extremely difficult. Nobody in the family knew I had an eating disorder - and Christmas is food."

Christelle sought help with adult mental health services and has been recovered for six years.

Recovery 'is possible'

She says her recovery has been greater than she ever could have dreamed of.

"I didn't think I would ever sit down and enjoy a meal," Christelle said.

"I didn't think life would ever get better. All I ever wanted was to be a mummy and a wife.

"I hadn't had my period in a few years and adult eating disorder services said I would be lucky if I had children. That scared me."

Now Christelle is married, with a three-month-old baby.

"I would say to anyone suffering: 'Hang in – nothing changes overnight – but change is possible.'

"Don't be afraid to dream – as cheesy as it sounds – those dreams can come true."

Paula Gibson is standing against a white wall. She's wearing a grey jumper and has a chain under her jumper.
Paula Gibson, from Freed Beyond, says Christmas can be "the perfect storm" for someone suffering from an eating disorder

The Department of Health said it is widely recognised that Child and Mental Health Services are facing an increased demand for services and that there has been a significant increase in the rise of young people presenting with higher levels of complex need – particularly in relation to eating disorders.

  • In 2015, 96 young people were waiting more than nine weeks for access to CAMHS – in 2023, that figure had risen to 1033
  • This year up until September the number sits at 469 - however figures for Belfast Trust, the largest trust in Northern Ireland, have not been included in this figure as the data is not available
  • For those over the age of 18 - in 2015, 180 people were waiting more than 9 weeks for access to adult mental health services
  • In 2023 that figure has risen to 1899
  • In 2024 that figure has risen to 2456 as of the end of October this year

Figures for the South Eastern Health Trust have not been included in the 2024 figure as the data is not available.

If you've been affected by the issues raised in this article, help and support is available through BBC Action Line.