The football team helping men through baby loss

With footballs and cones strewn across the 3G pitch and men wearing orange bibs, the session at Measham Leisure Centre looks like any other training session for a Sunday league football team.

But the men who are members of Sands United are united by another common factor, they have all lost a child.

Their club is one of 40 across the UK which support men who have lost a baby or young child.

It aims to help its members build trust and a common bond by playing together as a team and break the silence that often surrounds baby loss.

The mission of the charity is simple. It works to save babies' lives and ensure that anyone affected by the death of child receives the support and care they need.

The first Sands United team was founded in 2018 by a man called Rob Allen, following the passing of his daughter Niamh.

Fast-forward seven years and there are now about 40 Sands United teams throughout the UK.

Sands United in Ashby was started on Fathers Day in 2020 and within 10 weeks had seen over 20 men join the club.

Its founder, Matt Buckley, says he struggled with societal expectations to have a "stiff upper lip" after losing his son Jacob who was born sleeping in 2016.

And so SUFC Ashby was born.

Club manager Johnny Buckley says men are often offered counselling but it does not always feel like the right option for them.

"It is the best thing I have ever done getting involved with this team. It's not just about the football side but the love for football is what brings us together," he said.

"For just one hour every week the pressure can be taken away."

"This has made me realise that you don't need to suffer in silence, you can ask for help.

"Being able to talk is important because as a man we don't like to show our emotions but here you can."

The team has more than 20 players and they use their training sessions and matches to celebrate their lost ones.

"We wear our babies' names on our shirts. We all say we've got angels with us," Johnny said.

"We have special games on Fathers Day and Baby Loss Awareness Week.

"Before every game we have a minute's silence which allows us to come together as a club and think about what we have lost."

Alex Garner joined the group after going through his own bereavement and he says there is stigma around men being able to speak out.

"It is the same as anything to do with men's mental health, they find it harder to speak out. That is probably a generational thing," he said.

"Men feel they need to be strong and the rock of the family but by being vulnerable and expressing your emotions you are a much stronger man.

"There are no words to describe how much this team means to me."

Offering a message to anyone who may be experiencing a bereavement currently, Alex says: "Please come down. If you are local to us we are welcoming, we will give you support and we are here for you."

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