Mums describe 'pressure' of perfect Christmas

Parents have described the "pressure" and "guilt" of trying to provide a perfect Christmas for their children.

It comes as data from the charity Family Action suggests 52% of parents in the East of England will feel they have failed if they cannot give their children the presents they want.

Mums at the charity's support group in Wellingborough, Northamptonshire, said they were managing their children's gift expectations because of cost of living pressures.

"This year even more families are going without and are struggling to keep the magic of Christmas alive," said Family Action chief executive Sir David Holmes CBE.

One parent at the group said: "You want to do your best as much as you can, but sometimes you just feel like you're in the dark."

Robin, at the group with a toddler, said: "The other side of it is the money problems. Where is this all going to come from?

"Money doesn't grow on trees and when you're a child you don't understand that either."

Flourishing Babies, one of Family Action's services, supports pregnant women and parents with young children who may be struggling with their mental health, feeling isolated or struggling to connect with their baby.

Sharna said Christmas meant extra strain for families.

"I put pressure on myself," she said. "I think with social media as well [it] plays a big part.

"I follow social media and seeing posts with parents who can give their children loads of presents under the Christmas tree...

"I think that definitely plays a part in the pressure."

Fellow parent Hannah said she still felt the "joy" of Christmas, but said the influence of advertising meant explaining to her son that "you can't have everything you want".

Rebecca said she had found spreading the cost of Christmas over a few months had helped.

"I've been buying presents for quite a while," she said.

"If I see something, I think 'that will come in handy for Christmas' - I'll buy it three, four months ago so it doesn't all come out of my money at once."

The parents spoke at Flourishing Babies' Christmas party, where donated gifts were handed out.

Kim Bearman, a case worker with the group, said talking about the strains of Christmas helped parents feel they were not alone.

"Just being able to share their concerns really helps and through coming to things like our groups they realise they're not the only people feeling a certain way," she said.

Sophie Townsend, also a case worker, said: "It [the pressure to provide Christmas gifts] is something that people sometimes feel guilty about.

"They feel a lot of shame if they can't provide for their children...

"But they don't always feel like they can reach out and [get] help with it."

Sophie Townsend, also a case worker, said: It [the pressure to provide Christmas gifts] is something that people sometimes feel guilty about.

"They feel a lot of shame if they can't provide for their children...

"But they don't always feel like they can reach out and [get] help with it."

According to a survey by Family Action, 68% of parents in the East of England, are planning to give their children more practical presents this year, such as school books, clothes or bedding.

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