Rugby fan aims to tackle the 'man up' culture

George Torr & Emma Caldwell
BBC News, Derby
Supplied Alex in a blue rugby top on the pitch. He has a bald head, a white goatee beard and has tattoos on both arms.Supplied
Alex Harrison reached out for help and now works full-time for the charity

What does a man struggling with his mental health look like?

With his imposing build, tattoos across both arms and passion for martial arts and rugby, Alex Harrison might not seem the most obvious candidate to many.

But Alex has been through dark times in his life and at his lowest, reached out to a charity that focuses on male-dominated spaces to promote conversations around mental health and remove the toxic stigma of the "man up" culture.

Now the Tough Enough to Care charity's chief development officer, he is urging men to talk about their mental health, telling the BBC: "I was [told to man up] and I kind of did it because that's how life was."

Alex, originally from Wirksworth, Derbyshire, left school with no qualifications but started working in heavy industry in quarrying and mineral processing.

He did well and became works director at one company but while his career thrived, he was secretly battling poor mental health along the way.

Supplied Image of Stu wearing a blue suit on the right. He is smiling and has ginger heard and a ginger beard. Alex is stood on the on the right with a bald head and grey goatee beard wearing a dark blue suit. They are stood in front of their charity branding with a plant in the background. Supplied
Stu Bratt (left) set up the charity after two friends took their own lives

"You just bottle it up and I had some unhealthy coping mechanisms," he told the BBC.

That struggle continued until his late 30s and early 40s - and when his coping mechanisms did not work anymore, he said he attempted to take my own life.

"There was all sorts of strange things happening - lots of noise and dark thoughts and you just put it down to being tired, overworking or family pressures, finances, there's always an excuse," he said.

"It never once occurred to me this was a mental health illness... there's always something going on you can throw in the mix to try and deviate from what's actually going on... I lived like this for a very long time... no-one ever spoke about it.

"I was [told to man up] and I kind of did it because that's how life was.

"But it does mask what's going on because you do put a front on it and you hide it... even now I'll still get people that I've known for a long time that didn't know what I was going through."

Supplied Image of Alex on the left with a bald head and grey goatee beard wearing a blue rugby shirt with his arm around Stu who is wearing the same rugby shirt. He has a ginger beard and ginger hair.Supplied
Stu Bratt (right) ended up giving Alex a job within the charity

The father-of-three said he joined the charity during an intensely dark period in his life, not long after the organisation was set up by RAF veteran Stu Bratt.

Mr Bratt started the charity after two of his friends took their own lives in the space of four days of each other.

"He soon realised they were anything but weak and selfish and he looked into it and realised that it's us, that we hid this behind the man up culture and used the stigma as an excuse not to share how we were talking about," Alex said.

"I saw his message and I reached out, Stu supported me through my journey."

He decided to give back to the charity and volunteered for more than three years before being invited to go full-time with them.

The organisation aims to promote positive conversations around mental health, focusing on male-dominated spaces.

Asked what advice he'd give to anyone going through a tough time, Alex said: "Talking is my go-to, talk to a friend, a family member, even your employer.

"They do care, they will look after you but be honest with yourself and do what you can achieve.

"It's an illness that you're living with, it's not a weakness... if you need time to recover from a physical injury, you need time for your mind to cover."

If you have been affected by any of the issues in this story, support is available via the BBC Action Line.

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