'I'd rather die than fight this' - a Covid survivor remembers

"I'd rather die than spend my last moments fighting for my life."

That's what 18-year-old Marium Zameer told medics, when they were considering putting her into a medically-induced coma, to help fight the effects of Covid in May 2020.

Marium, from Bradford, survived her hospital ordeal and, as she recalled the loss of her grandfather - who died in the ward nextdoor without her being able to see him - she reflected on her "miraculous second chance at life".

"I'd just felt my body giving up, and I had no hope within myself that I'd ever see my family again. I was just not ready to be put into a coma," she said.

On 29 January 2020, the first confirmed case of Covid-19 in the UK was identified.

By March, the UK was battling rising cases of the disease, prompting the introduction of the first lockdown.

A few weeks later, teenager Marium Zameer was admitted to hospital. Struggling to breathe thanks to the combined impact of Covid and pneumonia, she was placed on a ventilator.

"I could feel that it was becoming more difficult to breathe, but I didn't want to accept it," she recalls.

"I just wasn't sure what was going on with my body. All I know is I was feeling really cold. Nothing else made sense."

It was the first time Marium had ever been admitted to hospital, and she was terrified.

"It was really scary - knowing that my body couldn't function on its own - and the fact that I can't breath, such a basic thing that we do, as humans. We don't think about breathing, it's just so normal."

As her condition grew increasingly serious, a doctor had held her hand and explained that she needed to be put into a coma.

"At first I said, no, I'd rather just die - because I didn't think I was going to make it. I didn't think I was going to survive."

She said she just wanted to spend what she thought were her last moments with her family, convinced her body was "giving up".

"I had no hope within myself that I'd ever see them again - and if I wasn't going to survive, I'd rather spend my last moments with them, than fighting for my life," Marium had concluded.

What happened next, she describes as "a miracle".

"I'll always call it a miracle.

"I was being taken out of the room to the ICU [intensive care unit] - to be put into a coma - the bed stopped, and the doctors shook their heads and said, 'no, she's 18, she's got no underlying health conditions, I don't think we should'."

Marium describes hearing those words as "the best news I could ever have".

She spent the rest of the week in hospital, before being discharged.

"I was isolated from everyone, obviously. And I just had the ventilator on until my oxygen levels were getting back to normal and I was able to breathe better."

Back home, the joy of survival was brief, as Marium learnt her grandfather, who had been in the next ward, also suffering from Covid, had not survived.

"I'd always like to check up on my grandad, so I would always speak to this nurse who was between both wards and say: 'Tell my grandad, I said hello'.".

On learning of his death, "I just looked at my family and I said it can't be true, my grandad can't be gone," she remembers.

More than 44 million people in the UK, were estimated to have had the virus between April 2020 and February 2022, according to the Office for National Statistics.

Not only were people like Marium at the mercy of a deadly virus, but with restrictions on who we could meet and where, social lives ground to a halt.

"I think the legacy I see is that social isolation - the social distancing had a really detrimental effect on us," said Sheffield-based GP Dr Ollie Hart.

He maintains the impact on people's mental health has been significant.

"So many of us suffered with our mental health because we weren't together."

As clincial director of Heeley Plus Primary care network, he said the impact was still being seen, with a backlog of people with mental health issues on waiting lists.

"People say social isolation is as bad as smoking. So it's almost like we gave everyone a two-year smoking habit.

Dr Hart questions whether cutting people off from each other is the best strategy for any future pandemic - "particularly for our children, who really suffered at the hands of the massive changes and disruption to their lives".

"It was like a collective period of trauma really, and we are fielding that now."

Dr Hart spent time with colleagues running a vaccine centre and said it had been a "tremendous collaboration".

"We had so much volunteering. It really was a combination of the best of science and the best of people."

Louise Wallace, the director of public health for North Yorkshire, said she shared Dr Hart's appreciation of the collaborative approach which helped people navigate such a challenging period.

"It was team spirit that got us through the pandemic.

"Lots of organisations working together, trying their hardest against the virus, which was causing such sadness as people lost their lives or became quite seriously ill."

Ms Wallace said she would most remember "the hope and the inspiration and the pulling together".

"People helped each other, went out and delivered things, and collected food, and made sure communities were looked after", she said.

"And I really hope that spirit can continue and that we learn from that part of the experience," she added.

Ms Wallace said she wanted to commend front-line staff "who were out there caring for people everyday".

She went on to pay "massive tribute" to staff in healthcare "who were just superb during that time".

"It must have been really tough for them, at a time when it was really difficult for friends, family, and communities.

"So I just remember them at this time of the year, and always, for the great work that they do"