The women that want an 'Eldest Daughter's Day'

A community group in east London is hoping to get "Eldest Daughter's Day" registered as a national holiday.

Home Girls Unite (HGU) said the day would recognise and celebrate the often "parentified" eldest daughter.

According to its website, HGU provides support for the "unique challenges" faced by the eldest daughters of immigrant families, such as taking on the role of parent to younger siblings.

Co-founder Yasin Bojang said she wanted eldest daughters, wherever they were from, "to be connected to one another".

The 30-year-old co-founded HGU with a friend after a conversation led them to realise they had faced similar challenges as the eldest daughters of immigrant parents.

Ms Bojang said growing up she felt she was treated as the third parent.

"I couldn't go to afterschool clubs because I had to get home to babysit my brother.

"I also had to learn to cook quickly at the age of 11 because I would have to make dinner if my parents were working late."

"The role can be quite lonely," she added.

This "parentification of eldest daughters" was not limited to immigrant families, said Ms Bojang, "but maybe it's not as intense as it is for those from immigrant families".

For Ms Bojang, a dedicated "Eldest Daughter's Day" would recognise the contribution eldest daughters make to their families.

"I think one of the challenges that eldest daughters face is how hard it is to get their role recognised in the home," she said.

This year, HGU will be marking the day on Bank Holiday Monday - 26 August - with a potluck picnic. So far, 70 women of all ages and backgrounds across London have RSVP'd.

"Hopefully in the next couple of years, Eldest Daughter's Day won't be something we have to tell people about," Ms Bojang said.

"Our aim is for it to be just like Mother's Day or Father's Day."

Wumni Fagbemi, 32, from Edmonton said she supported the idea.

"If you're not an eldest daughter, you wouldn't understand," she said.

"Being an eldest sister is a thing of joy and pride but we pour so much into our families and extended families and we should be recognised for that."

Ms Fagbemi said that as the eldest of four siblings, she often had to take on a maternal role.

"From early on I was changing nappies, making bottles, helping my mum with the feed," she said.

"It's almost like I don't recall being able to do my own thing growing up.

"My personality has been shaped by the fact that I had so many younger siblings and I had to make adjustments to accommodate them."

Aaliyah Patel, 24, from Stratford, said that as the eldest daughter, she has had to take on a lot of unspoken responsibilities within her family.

"It's in the unsaid, unspoken things, like for example the kinds of things my brother or sister could get away with, I couldn't," she said.

"There's always been a set of expectations placed on me before my younger siblings."

When asked if a dedicated day was necessary, Ms Patel said: "We need a day to raise awareness about their experiences, encourage society to celebrate them and give eldest daughters the space to celebrate themselves.

"Having a designated day normalises eldest daughters using the day as they see fit, whether for rest or for engaging in activities that bring them joy."

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