Eid celebration 'can be lonely' for Muslim converts

As a month of family celebrations around Ramadan and Eid-al-Fitr pass for another year, for some Muslims who have converted to Islam the whole time period could be "isolating and lonely" instead, a charity said.

New Muslim Circle, in Peterborough, supports converts in their journey of faith by teaching them how to pray, organising regular meet-ups and hosting meals and celebrations.

Natalia Zaman, who became a Muslim in 2007, described the charity as a "safe space" and a "lifeline" for those it helped.

Nasirah Alam, who founded it in 2013, said the group saw an increase every year in those it supported.

Ms Alam, 47, chose to become a Muslim 20 years ago while living in London.

After moving to Peterborough, she struggled to get support and decided to set up the charity.

The group started with about 20 women and it has since grown to about 100. It also supports men in their journeys from across the city and Fenland.

"We have people between the ages of 18 until about 70 years, from African background, eastern Europeans, Caribbean backgrounds - it's a real diverse bunch," Ms Alam said.

"When people come into Islam, they kind of lose themselves. They feel like they need to adapt to be someone else - for example, it might be a new way of cooking, a new way of dressing... we say, 'Look, you can do that, but you can be who you are.'

"Islam focuses on having a good character, so become a better version of yourself."

Ms Zaman, originally from Latvia and formerly an Orthodox Christian, described the process as a "slow and long journey" and recalled feeling "overwhelmed".

She initially hid her new identity from friends as she was "fearing exclusion", she said.

"You need to make sure to take it step-by-step. My husband was a guide and support for me," Ms Zaman said.

"I went through some difficult circumstances, and then having a child with disabilities and other health issues of myself… that drawn me more to Islam and I became a very practising Muslim."

She said without the New Muslim Circle she would have "really struggled".

"I have no siblings and not a big family. New Muslim Circle became my family. It became my safe space. It was my lifeline."

Hayley Oliver, from Peterborough, said she was 15 years old when she converted to Islam in 1998 after being inspired by her Muslim friends, but felt "very isolated".

"As a new Muslim you are trying to find your feet, find your identity, and that's why you need that support around you," she said.

Ms Oliver said her family thought she had been "brainwashed" and she was kicked out of the house after the 9/11 attacks. She said her wider family also initially made her feel unwelcome but had since accepted her faith.

"You do feel alone... you don't feel totally accepted from the born Muslims. But you don't feel accepted at all from your own kind.

"So, you question it - what am I? Who are my people?

"Now I feel like reverts do our own thing, instead of looking for acceptance."

Some Muslims refer to "revert" when talking about people who have converted to the Muslim faith. This is based on the belief that everyone is born as a Muslim and those who embrace Islam are returning to their "natural state".

Ms Alam said New Muslim Circle tried to act as a "bridge" and worked with the city's mosques, churches, food banks and other organisations in the community.

"It is important to engage with other faiths, other organisations to show them we are normal people," she said.

The month of Ramadan, which began on 1 March this year, is the most important time in the Islamic calendar, where Muslims fast and refrain from eating or drinking between dawn and sunset.

It concludes with the festival of Eid al-Fitr, which is a time of family celebrations following congregational prayers.

Ms Oliver said she often felt "lonely" at Eid.

"Initially I struggled with Eid. Even now it can feel a bit boring.

"There's Eid in the Park [in Peterborough] and the New Muslim Circle put something together. But when you go home... you are on your own."

When someone wants to embrace Islam, they express their desire and usually take an oath and say their first prayer at a mosque.

The mosques can then refer them to support groups for further guidance, if required.

The Convert Muslim Foundation, a UK-based charity, said converting to Islam was a "deeply personal and spiritual decision, yet it comes with its own set of unique challenges", including discrimination.

It said initiatives like New Muslim Circle were "paving the way" by "creating safe spaces where converts can explore their faith, learn how to practice Islam practically, and connect with others who share similar experiences".

It has launched an online platform that enables people who have embraced Islam or are considering the faith to search for nearby services and get common questions answered.

Update 16 April: This article originally included several references to "reverts" when referring to individuals who have converted to Islam, reflecting the language used by the people we spoke to. On the 5th April we amended the article to instead refer to "converts" to Islam, which is a more generally understood description, and added an additional paragraph giving further context on the use of word "reverts" by some Muslims.

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