Mental health: 'Leonie wouldn't have been a burden to us'

Leonie Baigan was excited to have a new baby sister or brother on the way, but two days before she was due to find out the baby's gender by popping a balloon she took her own life.

The 20-year-old, from Edinburgh, who died last month, had tried to get help but did not tell anyone she had thoughts of suicide.

Her parents Stacey Baigan and Mark Halliday believe the issue of mental health needs to be spoken about more openly and are urging people who are struggling to get help.

Stacey, who is six months pregnant, told BBC Radio's Good Morning Scotland programme that Leonie, who had an eight-year-old brother Marco-Lee, was really excited about the impending birth of another sibling.

"Leonie was so looking forward to being a big sister again," she said. "My pregnancy is bittersweet - I've lost one child and I'm going to bring another one into the world. I wish the two of them could have met each other.

"Some people have said 'do you think her nose was a little bit out of joint because there was a new baby coming?' but absolutely not, I know 110%. Leonie was more excited than me and my partner were, which I never thought was possible.

"All her colleagues said she was so excited about the baby coming. Two days after she did what she did, we were going to do a gender reveal and Leonie was going to pop the balloon that was going to say if it was a little brother or sister. Leonie was making plans."

Leonie worked as a customer adviser at the Bank of Scotland. Stacey had spoken to the bank about her mental health problems and got her signed off for a month.

"Her manager said if I hadn't mentioned it, he would never have known because Leonie, and others who suffer with mental health, are really good at hiding it," she said.

Leonie had spoken to her GP about her mental health but none of her records had shown she had ever thought about suicide.

"Just because someone doesn't say that they're suicidal doesn't mean that they're not," Stacey said. "In fact, if someone is suicidal and is serious about it, they're not going to tell anyone because they don't want anyone to intervene.

"So just because someone says 'I'm not suicidal, I've not had these thoughts' really doesn't mean that they genuinely haven't had these thoughts."

Stacey recognises that the pandemic has had an impact on lots of people's mental health.

"People have reached out to me - people I know and don't know - and a common theme is that the sufferer still doesn't want to burden people with their issues. The more we speak about it, the more people will realise you are absolutely not a burden.

"We now have to carry this burden for the rest of our lives. Leonie wouldn't have been a burden to us and nobody is. The world is not better off without people suffering mental health. We really need to start speaking about it."

She added: "There are so many people we've not been heard about in the pandemic alone. Sixteen-year-olds, 15-year-olds, 17-year-olds all taking their lives. Something has to change. The more people speak about it the more they'll realise they're not alone. They're not as isolated as they think.

"This is happening far too often. To be honest, I think it's a bigger pandemic than the pandemic we're in."

Leonie's father Mark spoke about the"massive" impact her death has had on her extended family.

"I think about her when I wake up and before I go to my bed. I think about her all day," he said. "Her little brother is only eight I can't understand how an eight-year-old can take that in. It's taken its toll on everybody.

"I can only imagine what she was going through."

Leonie's parents are hoping to set up a charity called Leonie's Legacy to help young people in crisis and have set up a gofundme page.

If you've been affected by issues raised in this story, sources of support are available via the BBC Action Line here.

You can call Samaritans free on 116 123, email them at [email protected], or visit www.samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.